Thursday, April 14, 2011

It's good to be back.


This one would be from the Beardo: Art School Days, not our present day continuity. And what HAS been going on in the present day? Where have I been?

I finished Rotten 10, by the skin of my...well, it was tight. Now I'm looking to wrap up Sam and the Jungle Band, but this time around I will be getting back into the swing of things with my baby, Beardo, as well as my other baby with another daddy, Newton. So many babies! Oh, and eventually getting into Bob Howard for book 3! So many babies! I gotta stop taking creativity out behind the middle school and getting it pregnant!

I digress. Another thing that happened: Meg, Lauren and I went to Pennsylvania for 6 days to visit their grandparents, see some sights, and get away from the monotony that is known as "working." I got to go jogging nearly every day. I read, AND FINISHED, books. I lived in a world OUTSIDE of my head. I actually learned NEW things, instead of congratulating myself on the things I already know. I did crosswords with my wife. And it was glorious.

The big sights we saw were Philadelphia (yes, I ate a cheesesteak. Also glorious.), and Atlantic City. I don't know what the cost of living is, but I'd sure like to live in Philly for awhile. I always enjoy the colonial cities. Something about that sagging brickwork.

If you go there, check out the Art Museum, and don't be ashamed to run up the steps a la Rocky. So what if everyone else is doing it. Go the East State Penitentiary, and get the headphone tour narrated by actor/director/dental nightmare Steve Buscemi. Visit Independence Hall, and let a creepy Ben Franklin actor tell you where the bathrooms are.

If you go to Atlantic City, use the bathroom every time you see it. Because the next one won't be for blocks and blocks, and they might have it locked up so self-loathing workers can clean it without you sullying it up with your "leavings." Honestly, if I didn't love the show Boardwalk Empire so much, we probably wouldn't have even bothered with this place. I could feel Donald Trump's hairpiece eyeing my wallet as if to say, "it isn't worth the trouble, but I'll try and steal it anyway."

One other thing to note: if you're driving through Ohio, you will be tempted to kill yourself. After all, the cops are jerks (I was not speeding!), their rest stops are few and awful, and are the only notable thing along the way, as Ohio has virtually nothing to offer the traveler, or indeed, the world. But don't kill youreself. America does gets better.

(To all my Ohio fans: you are too good for your state. Evacuate immediately.)

And now, back to work for me! Thanks for your patience! Alot of books to come in 2011! I've counted 11 on the slate so far! You'll meet your "drivel quota" in no time!



  1. Yesssss. Even the trees don't want to be in Ohio. Had fun bro-ski :)

  2. Philly is great, if I may say. You know what else is great? Beardo.

    *waves Beardo flag*